Obsession
by sg4ever
Summary: "His soul was burning with impatience to meet her again." She enters his life and changes everything, including him. How will Nikola deal with her presence?
1. Chapter 1

** Before you start reading this you should know a few things. This is fic is Nikola centered. It deals with the way Nikola met Helen and how things evolved later (more of a pre-ship fic). I did not intend to describe Nikola the way he is portrayed in the Sanctuary series. I focused more on what I know about real Tesla's personality but also on the way I see him. I dare to say that I've even put a part of me in the Nikola I created, so don't be surprised if he doesn't sound like the Nikola you know it. I wouldn't be able to explain you why, I just felt I have to write this down.**

** That being said, if you still want to read my story, I hope you'll enjoy it.**

** many thanks to my beta Socratic Method :D**

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It was raining. The rain was the only good thing in the whole of London… the only thing that pleased him. It was a crowded, noisy city, with carriages everywhere. It was a city where people lived in a society built upon stupid rules. He liked nothing of it except for the rain. And today, on his first day at Oxford, it was raining; giving him the necessary strength to face the crowd of people gathered there.

He had strange feelings about people. He neither liked nor trusted them – preferring his solitude instead - but he liked studying them. It was a great pleasure for him at times and a great repulsion at others, to watch the human comedy performed on the great stage of life.

He plucked up his courage and stepped through the crowd to find a lonely place from where he could watch without being interrupted by the festivities. He was wearing a black suit - simple but elegant - a pair of black shoes, a vest and a white shirt with a brown tie. He might have admitted himself that he was very good looking if he had been interested in the impression he was making to other people. But he wasn't trying to show off; on the contrary, he was hoping that no one would notice him.

The festivities had begun and he was silently wandering his gaze through the crowd of men. Suddenly his attention was distracted by the only dress in that monotonous crowd. It was a blue dress which had nothing of the superficiality of all the dresses worn by the women in London.

More and more intrigued, Nikola was trying to see the woman's face, but it was covered by her umbrella. Looking with more attention, he noticed that she was talking to a man standing to her right. His black long hair, tied at the back, reminded Nikola of those gentlemen he had read about, who didn't know very much but "society" appreciated them because of their manner of speaking.

He turned up his nose and moved his gaze to the woman again. The umbrella was still hiding her face. For the first time in his life, Nikola wished the rain would stop so she could close her umbrella.

And then, just as if someone had heard his thought, the rain stopped.

If he still believed in God he would have thanked Him with a prayer for granting his wish. But he satisfied himself with the idea that the clouds scattered because of the wind, when the first sun ray appeared from the gray sky.

And she closed her umbrella…

If an earthquake had begun that very moment it still would not have had the same devastating effect on Nikola as the sight in front of him. With her blonde curls, a porcelain face and intense yet peaceful blue eyes, she could have been a goddess descended to earth.

Nikola felt attracted by her in an inexplicable way and he knew in that very moment that _she _would be his new obsession. He had lived his entire life between his obsessions. Some of them weaker, others more powerful. Some of them shorter, others longer… But now he felt that there was something special about that woman; that he won't be rid of this obsession soon. Probably never…

He didn't know when the festivities ended, nor how he had reached his hotel room. His mind didn't want to accept another reality except for the one of that mysterious woman whose face was now constantly haunting his thoughts. Lying on the bed with his gaze locked on the ceiling, he was reviewing every second, every gesture she made, every expression on her face. He had watched her during the whole festivity, studying her and trying to understand her mystery. What was a woman like her doing at Oxford? Why was she so different to all other women? His questions were endless and the answers were entirely missing.

After the festivity, the woman had gone away in a carriage with the same man she had been talking with earlier.

"He must be somebody important to her" Nikola thought "otherwise, a true lady would not have shared the carriage with a man of mere acquaintance."

He smiled. Nikola was extremely pleased with self when he accomplished something on his own. He looked then at the clock: 3:00. From the moment he first saw her he knew that all his nights to follow would be dedicated to her. He scarcely felt the need to sleep. His soul was burning with impatience to meet the mysterious woman again. And then Nikola realized that he _needed _to see her as much as he needed to breathe. Anyway, anyhow, even if it was just for a second. He had to calm down the torment of feelings growing inside his mind.

"If she was at the opening festivity she must be connected somehow with the university. So, she might be there tomorrow too."

And thinking about this, a shiver of impatience went down to his bones.

"Yes. I will wait." He said.

Then he got up from the bed and headed to the desk. He was no longer able to work through his projects in his mind tonight as his mind was too scattered so he decided to write them down…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two is coming with more of Nikola's feelings and thoughts. Thanks for reading/reviewing. I hope you will enjoy this chapter :)**  
**Many thanks to my beta Soractic Method. Without her help I wouldn't be writing fics :)**

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He woke up at 6:00. Nikola had fallen asleep at his desk. He had been dreaming about her; dreaming that after the festivity she had shared the carriage with him. But just as she was about to tell him her name, he woke up. How he wished he could've stayed asleep! In his dreams Nikola had everything he ever wanted. In his dreams he was able to be with her. Real life had nothing more tempting to offer him.

Nikola saw himself as a merely observer of the world and the society in which he was supposed to live. The truth was, fewer and fewer things kept him in contact with that world.

There was a time when that world meant everything to him. A simple life in the country, his mother, his father, his brother… After his brother died he isolated himself from his family. Nikola felt hugely responsible for Dane's death. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting anyone else ever again, and he saw isolation as the only way to be sure he wouldn't.

Studies and books became his refuge. But for Nikola, there was no escaping his demons. The guilt that wracked him now taunted him with visions of his beloved brother's death. These were more than mere 'dreams', for the visions were accompanied by such force of emotion as to leave Nikola mentally and physically exhausted. They were so vivid… so real… The tragic event repeating itself over and over again. For years, such visions were his constant companion.

In time the visions softened. He learnt how to keep his mind busy… That's how his obsessions began. Nikola would spend days, months, sometimes even years thinking about them. This was his way to fight the devastating memories of his past.

But this new obsession was different somehow. It was stronger - as if it was mixed with _something else_. But he was unable to tell what that _something else_ could be. He just knew that he had never experienced such a thing before. Knowing what they replaced, Nikola never did try to resist when such obsessions would overcome him. But this time, he was in no position to resist this time, even if he'd tried. The mysterious woman consumed his entire being.

With his mind wandering idly, Nikola got dressed and ready to go.

A half an hour later he was headed to Oxford. He could have gone in a carriage but he preferred walking. It gave him more time to think… to analyze. The mysterious woman's image was still haunting him. He felt his stomach contracting involuntarily with every thought of her. Every new sensation he experienced, felt like one step further over the boundaries of this world, and each step was like a new discovery. Even if his self control was almost gone, he still had the self analysis. He didn't want to miss any feeling, sensation or experience within him. He always tried to figure what caused them, and what they caused in return. In short: he was trying to _understand_ - and control, if possible -everything.

Nikola found himself in front of the university without knowing how he got there. He looked at the clock: 7:00. It was still early for the classes to begin so he sat down on a bench nearby and put his head in his hands. There were too many thoughts to keep them in line. He felt like every living cell inside his body was burning hot. So he just abandoned himself to a world of waiting and uncertainty.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of an approaching carriage. He looked at the clock again: 7:30. The time was passing by but he was just too lost in his struggle to realize it.

Wanting to leave, he raised his gaze and remained still. And then, _she_ stepped down from the carriage. She was heading to the entrance of the university. There was no doubt that it was really her because her blonde curls were shinning brightly in the diffuse light of the morning sun.

For a moment all his senses froze. He wasn't tired, impatient or confused anymore. Nothing mattered in that moment besides the sight of her. And then, as swiftly as she arrived she was gone. Nikola watched as the grand door that was the entrance to the university closed behind her. The moment was over.

An uncontrollable smile appeared on Nikola's face. He was feeling _happy_. He was so mesmerized by her sight that he wasn't able to think anymore. If anyone had seen him then, they would have thought him insane, smiling all by himself wandering his gaze. But how many times had he been considered insane by people too limited and shallow to understand the slightest part of his nature? He had learnt over time not to care anymore.

He hadn't dared to follow her inside. His knees were trembling. He had seen her. That was the most important thing for him in that moment. Nikola knew he was in no condition to attend his lectures just yet; he had been in quite a state for a least a couple hours this morning. So it was not until a half an hour later that he crossed the street and entered the university. He went straight to his class. There he managed to pay some attention to what the Physics teacher was saying but those were mostly things he already knew. So he let his mind wander to the enigmatic woman again.

The six classes he had that day ended quickly. Walking from school he headed to the park. There he sat on a bench watching the pigeons flying and playing in front of him. Those little creatures were able to calm him down every time he was falling into confusion, anger, regret…

His gaze wandering idly a thought struck his mind.

"_Perhaps I shall see her tomorrow, too…"_

Some sort of an electrical impulse went down his spine. With an involuntary contraction of his stomach he knew that the healing effect of her sight was almost gone for today. He_ had_ to see her again.

"_She won't be there. You got lucky today. Get over it!"_ His rational thought replied.

And as always, his rational thought was right. Why was he allowing himself to hope? Why was he deliberately walking this road when he knew that it led only to disappointment and anguish? It was beyond his comprehension…

It was six in the afternoon now. Nikola left the park and went home. There was no point trying to sleep that night. So he sat at his desk and started drawing geometrical shapes: triangles, hexagons, nonagons… hoping to settle his tormented mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sooooo sorry for the delay. My muse is a bit tricky. Here I have chapter three for you :)**

**of course, gotta thank Cristina for her help. and please excuse any possible mistakes.**

**thanks for the reading/reviewing. I hope you'll enjoy this one too :D**

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Three months since she had entered his life. They felt like three years for Nikola…

The mysterious woman became a part of his life. Every day he woke up – if he had slept at all – at six, he got ready for going to the university and once he was there, he sat on the same bench, waiting for her arrival at precisely 7:45.

And she was always there. For thirty seconds Nikola could see her descending from the carriage and entering the university. Then he would wait another twenty four hours for another thirty seconds of happiness.

And so the time had passed: three days, three weeks, three months…

He thought that in time, his obsession would fade away and would lose its intensity but that didn't happen. After three months Nikola found himself as mesmerized and as scattered as he was the first day he'd seen her.

Until one day when she didn't show up...

He was right there, on the bench, looking impatiently at his watch, with his knees trembling and his stomach contracting. With every passing second he was more and more nervous. She had never been late before.

Nikola decided to wait.

"_What if something happened to her?_"

His breath stopped for a moment. Although he barely knew that woman, he couldn't have taken the thought of something bad happening to her.

"_What if she'll never come again?_"

This time he was struggling to breathe. His lungs didn't want to open and allow the oxygen to enter. The way his subconscious mind was controlling his body frightened him for a second. His thoughts could hurt him both mentally and physically.

Nikola spent ten more minutes tortured by the unending wait. He had lost any hope of seeing her again. For three months she had been there every day. He could have said something to her. He could have gone to meet her. He could have done more than just watching her everyday descending from the carriage. But he had been a fool and a coward. And now he was paying for that.

He promised himself to take advantage of every opportunity from now on.

With his mind now numb, he got up from the bench and went to classes. Not even Physics seemed to make him focus.

"_I am glad you finally made it_…."

His teacher's voice was fading with every moment he was falling deeper and deeper in depression.

"…._we're happy to have you here_…."

How he wished he could reverse time. He wouldn't have done the same mistake twice.

"…._miss Helen Magnus is going to attend classes_…."

An electricity shiver went down to his bones when he realized his teacher was introducing a _woman_ to the class. He shook his head and raised his gaze.

For the second time that day, he was unable to breathe. In front of the class it was_ her_. The one that had been haunting his thoughts for the last three months… The one whose angelic face always appeared in his dreams… The one that could revive him from depression with the blink of an eye…

"Have a seat over there near Mr. Tesla." The teacher said.

His heartbeats were faster and faster as she glanced to the teacher and started walking in his direction. Soon Nikola realized he was staring at her so with a great effort he managed to move his gaze and lock it on a drawing in his notebook.

She sat down. He could hear her breathing.

_Miss Helen Magnus_…_Helen…_ A name that was describing her entirely…a powerful name… But compared to the famous Helen of Troy, Helen Magnus was a thousand times more beautiful and gracious. At least that was what Nikola was thinking that very moment.

"_Can I borrow your pencil please_?"

He was trying to calm down. He felt like he was suffocating. An angelic voice was haunting his mind…

"Can I borrow your pencil please?"

Nikola suddenly shook his head to realize Helen was talking to him. In a moment he pulled himself together and replied in a whisper:

"Sure."

She took the pencil of his bench and started drawing an electric circuit.

"_That voice…" _Nikola thought_. _For a moment he felt like every single pair of eyes in the class room was watching him. He raised his gaze to meet them but nothing… Everyone was too busy writing and drawing to look at him.

"_But…didn't they hear_?" Nikola wondered. Was he the only one struck by her marvellous voice?

For fifteen minutes he didn't even dare to look at her. He was just paralyzed in his bench by an unknown feeling. Her presence was making him nervous and he was struggling to act _normal_.

8:30… The class was coming close to an end. Nikola remembered about the promise he had made just an hour ago to never miss any opportunity. So he plucked up his courage and slowly turned his head to see her. Helen was still drawing and it seemed like she was trying to figure out something.

Nikola looked down in her notebook.

"_The handwriting…Oh God, is everything perfect about this woman_?" Nikola thought while he was trying to focus.

In a moment he discovered her mistake. Without even thinking he said to her.

"You drew the intensity all wrong. It goes in the opposite way."

He was still surprised by his actions when she raised her gaze and looked him straight in the eyes.

"_The eyes…."_

Then she looked back in her notebook and modified her drawing following Nikola's suggestion. When she was done she exclaimed.

"Oh now it all makes sense."

She turned to Nikola and with a sincere voice she told him.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure." Nikola replied struggling to control the tone of his voice.

The bell rang announcing Nikola that the most beautiful Physics class in his life was about to end.

Helen stood up and handed him the pencil. For a moment their hands touched. Nikola felt her white silk soft skin lingering on his fingers.

"Thank you again." She spoke.

He bowed his head in reply.

When she was just about to leave, she turned her head and said.

"Mr Tesla, right?"

"Yes. Nikola Tesla."

"See you tomorrow." Helen glanced at him and walked out from the class.

Only a few minutes later Nikola realized he was going to see her again.

"_Yes…tomorrow_…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four is ready sooner than I thought. And I'm already working on chapter five. It is right to send many thanks to my friend Keaira who was my beta for this chapter :)**

**Thanks for reading/reviewing so far :) I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too.**

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_**"... a mixture of feelings resonating into a symphony. For there's no way anyone could hear that symphony. You can only feel it while it's vibrating through every living cell of your body..."**_

* * *

"_Can I borrow your pencil please_?"

He could hear her voice everywhere.

"_Thank you_."

Her marvelous blue eyes were looking at him. Her image was fading and reappearing even clearer, inside his scattered mind. The touch of her soft skin was still lingering on his fingers.

Nikola opened his eyes. Every time he closed them, he was stepping into another world. He could barely distinguish reality from dreams. Images were running through his head. His entire world seemed to be shrinking when he thought about Helen. His heart was always one step from exploding in his chest. He couldn't remember the last time his heart had been quiet.

A fever was tormenting his entire body. His forehead was soaked-wet as well as his hands. His throat was dry and he was breathing heavily.

Lying on the bed, he locked his gaze on the ceiling. Although he had been aware that the obsession that took over him was not a_ normal_ one, he never expected such consequences.

Nikola didn't want to miss any of the things happening to him, he was fascinated by his condition. Although that was one of the most tormented nights he had been through, he was feeling grateful.

He had met her. In a single day, he had accomplished more than in the last three months. He found out her name. He spoke to her. He looked her straight in the eyes. He touched her… And he got the promise that she'd be there tomorrow as well.

In a moment Nikola realized that seeing her was not enough anymore. He needed her presence. That's what his mind was trying to tell him. Nikola needed Helen…

He moved his gaze to the clock on the wall… 6:00 am. It was time for him to get ready to go to university. The thought brought a smile on his face. He was going to meet her again…

She descended from the carriage. Heading to the entrance, she stopped for a moment and looked behind. Nikola was on the bench watching her. He got up blushing that he had been _caught_. Then, he crossed the street and went to greet Helen.

"Good morning Miss Magnus." Nikola said bowing his head.

"Good morning, Mr. Tesla." She replied. The sound of her voice sent frozen shivers to Nikola's bones. There were almost twenty four hours since the last time he had heard it.

"I was just on my way to our Physics class." Helen continued. "Would you like to join me?"

Nikola was surprised by her question. Trying his best to hide the overwhelming feelings, he replied in a calm tone,

"It would be my pleasure."

And he offered his left arm to Helen. She took it and so, they both entered the grand door of the university. Heading to his class, Nikola had the feeling everyone was watching him.

Helen was walking gracious beside him, occasionally greeting professors and students she knew. The physical contact between him and Helen, made Nikola feel both uncomfortable and fascinated. He had isolated himself from people so much that he limited the physical contact with them as much as he could. And it was also his germs phobia that kept him away from humans. But being so close to Helen, the source of the new feelings that took over him, was different to anything else he had ever experienced.

Even though his heartbeats accelerated to an abnormal rate, he managed to keep himself under control and successfully arrived in the class. There, Helen released his arm and went to her bench. Nikola did the same. Only twenty inches separated them.

He didn't even realize when the class was over. Nikola had been too mesmerized by Helen's sight to pay attention to anything else besides her.

Even though the bell had already rung, Helen was still in her bench looking through her notes.

"This doesn't make sense!" She exclaimed in a loud voice.

"Can I help you with something?" Nikola asked approaching her.

"These calculations… the drawing… I must have done something wrong. Everything is so messed up. Perhaps trying Physics was a mistake." She said.

For a moment, the thought that she might drop the Physics classes they shared caused a deep pain in his heart. He plucked up his courage and said.

"Perhaps I could help you…"

Why was he doing that? She would probably just refuse. What if she'll feel insulted by his offer? What if he'll never see her again? What if…

His thoughts were interrupted by Helen's response.

"Would you be that kind? I don't want to be stressful but I really need these Physics notions for some… research I'm doing…"

"It would be my pleasure." He replied happy of his success.

"Thank you so much." Helen said. "Can we meet in the library after classes? I really want to start right away! I mean… if that's fine with you."

"Very well then. I'll be there at three o'clock." Nikola replied unable to believe what was happening.

And that's how it began…

Every day, after classes, they met in the library. Nikola soon realized – or better said, proved his theory – that Helen was far from being a regular English lady. Although she had a very intense social life and knew a lot of people, underneath her grace lay an adventurous spirit.

Her eyes could tell more about herself than a thousand words. All he had to do was look into her clear blue eyes and he would know exactly what she was feeling. Nikola was studying Helen. Every move, every gesture, every word… he memorized them and then at night, he would analyze them. He was always trying to figure out a little bit more about this fascinating woman.

Helen Magnus was an extremely intelligent woman. Her thirst for knowledge never ceased to amaze Nikola. After just a few _lessons_ in the library, he discovered he could have endless discussions with her about everything: science, history, religion, medicine, philosophy, psychology… And it was all a pleasure to discuss with her. Sometimes Nikola was struggling to focus on her words instead of her mesmerizing voice. Other times he would just let her speak while he measured the intensity and tonality of her voice.

He had known from the first day he'd seen her that Helen was not a shallow woman. She always amazed Nikola with her judgments, ideas and conceptions about the world they were living in. And he always treated her like an equal despite the fact that men did not give hardly any credit to women at that time. More than an equal, he started to admire her for her intelligence, determination and courage to speak up her thoughts.

As time passed by they dropped the formal Miss and Mister, using only the others first name. The sound of her voice while she was speaking his name was a symphony to Nikola's ears. His heart flinched every time he heard it. The Physics lessons were slowly replaced by long discussions, lectures and laughter. Yes laughter... After more than fifteen years since that tragedy that tormented his mind, Nikola rediscovered laughter again. It had become one of their favorite activities to make the other one laugh. And as wonderful as Helen's voice sounded when she was speaking, hearing her laughing always filled Nikola's heart with joy.

That is how another three months from Nikola's life passed…

One day, they were in the park, standing on a bench and watching the pigeons fly when Helen suddenly spoke.

"Nikola, what would you say if I'd ask you to join a little group dedicated to science and knowledge?"


	5. Chapter 5

**I've been writing like crazy for the last couple of days to get this story out of my head because it's literally haunting me! I think there will be one more chapter to finally say what I want to say with this story. **

**A couple of things you should know: I've described Nigel based on the character from "The Invisible Man" by H.G. Wells. And for Watson's description I used some facts from the Sherlock Holmes books I'm reading at the moment. So they might not sound so much at the Sanctuary characters. Oh and I've described Druitt based on what I think about him. And there's more to come ;)**

**thanks again Keaira for being my beta!**

**I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too. Reviews would be welcome to let me know what you think about the story so far :)**

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He was nervous. Of course he was. Nikola didn't expect such a thing when he decided to join them. Besides the fact that he would have joined any group as long as he was close to Helen, _science and knowledge_ sounded interesting enough to make him feel excited about the idea.

_They _were also nervous. He had met them the following day after he accepted Helen's proposal.

He had seen Griffin before, during some Optical Physics classes they shared, however they did not speak then. Nikola's impression about him was that he was an intelligent man but he was way too lazy and untidy for his tastes.

Watson seemed an odd man when they first met. He was always studying Nikola as if he was trying to get past of the walls he had built in the last fifteen years. And he had quite a personality. During a discussion they had afterwards, Nikola was trying to explain him some Physics notions related to gravity and gravitational acceleration and Watson told him that such things are not the object of his occupation and he would be grateful to Nikola if he wouldn't insist on the subject because with every new useless information he learns his brain looses another valuable one. After that, Nikola distanced himself from Watson.

And there was Druitt. John Druitt. Nikola recognized him as the man Helen was talking to at the opening festivities at Oxford. The first time they shook hands Nikola looked him in the eyes and his instinct warned him Druitt was more than meets the eye. He was arrogant and sarcastic even though he was younger than Nikola. His first words when they met had been,

"_So… you are the famous Nikola Tesla who is teaching my dear Helen Physics?"_

His question had been spoken in an ironic tone that almost made Nikola clench his fists. The way Druitt said "_my Helen_" let Nikola know that was actually a warning. And the way John looked at her, as if she was some kind of trophy to be proud of. It was and would always be impossible for Nikola to understand why Helen tolerated the company of such a man.

He took the syringe containing a part of the blood and walked to Helen who was standing in a chair. She had insisted to be the first. Nikola had told her it was dangerous but one way or another Helen always got what she wanted. He was one step from dropping everything and leaving the group if it wasn't for Helen. Not that a lack of courage would have made him renounce. He just couldn't accept the idea that Helen would put herself in danger. But then, one day, she said to him,

"_Please don't leave I… I only trust you to inject me_."

So he stayed. And now he was only a few inches away from Helen waiting for her to be ready. Druitt was in her right holding her hand. Why was Nikola so annoyed by that gesture? Nikola was annoyed by Druitt's attitude all the time but there was something else now, something that made this gesture particularly loathsome to him.

John was also trying to convince Helen to let somebody else be first.

"_How very noble of him_!" Nikola thought with a sarcastic smile at the corner of his mouth. He knew all too well what Druitt thought about women. In one of Druitt's attempts to socialize with Nikola, he told him,

"_I hope Helen doesn't bother you with the Physics lessons. Women today aren't satisfied anymore with doing women's things_."

Nikola was surprised by his shallow perspective. How could Druitt say such a thing when Helen was one of a kind? Why was he so bothered that a woman dares to be more than society _allows_ her to be? Nikola replied that the Physics lessons were no headache for him, excused himself and went to take some air. He had then understood why John saw Helen as a trophy.

"You may precede Nikola." Her voice interrupted his thoughts.

Jus one look in her deep blue eyes and he knew she was ready. They had gotten too far to stop now. With a gentle move, he brought the syringe close to Helen's left hand. When the needle touched her skin, he pressed deeper to find her vein. In a moment he started to slowly inject the blood from the syringe into her blood. After a few seconds Helen's body started to shake and she grabbed Nikola's hand tight. He squeezed her hand to let her know he was there and won't let go.

Her heartbeats accelerated and her blood pressure increased to an abnormal rate. Nikola raised his gaze to see her face. She was struggling hard to maintain control over her body even though she was in pain. Her pain had become his pain too. He felt useless for not being able to help her. His entire being was suffering at the sight of suffering Helen. Lightning struck Nikola's heart and in that very moment he understood. _He loved Helen_. His obsession had slowly transformed into admiration, respect, genuine concern and _love_. He was unable to tell when or how that happened. He just knew it and every living cell inside of his body was aware of that. He loved Helen.

After three minutes Helen's blood pressure slowly came back to normal. Her face started to lighten up and Nikola knew she wasn't in pain anymore. A sigh of relief left his chest. Nothing happened afterwards. Helen was just the same as she was in the morning.

"Perhaps the blood is not working." Nigel said.

"It does." Helen replied in a low voice. "I can feel it. I think it needs time to mix with our own blood."

They all agreed with her theory so they also got injected. The procedure was pretty much the same as in Helen's case. After three minutes of convulsions Watson, Druitt and Nigel returned to normal with no trace of side effects.

Nikola was injected the last one. Helen injected him. As the blood started spreading through his veins he could feel them freezing. When it reached for his lungs he felt a hole in his chest as he was struggling to breathe. Soon enough, the vampire blood reached his heart. He felt it freezing while his heartbeats were slowly fading away. Everything was blurry. Then it was silence everywhere around him. Silence and darkness. Nikola soon realized his eyes were closed so he struggled to open them. The first thing that he saw was Helen's face. For the first couple of moments he thought he died and went to heaven. What a stupid thought! In a fraction of second he remembered that he didn't believe in God or in heaven.

Words he could not understand their meaning broke the silence.

"_Unbelievable… impossible… dangerous_…_monster_." What were they talking about?

He stood up and raised his hand to reach Helen. They all backed up. He then suddenly noticed the six inch black nails on his hand. He raised his other hand and took some time to observe what happened to him. Then a hole burnt into his chest. The last thing he was able to see was Druitt standing a few meters in front of him with a gun pointed towards him. The image became blurry and Nikola crushed to the floor. He was able to distinguish just a few more words.

"_What have you done, John? Stop it! He's not dangerous! He's Nikola_!"

And then Helen's voice faded away. While Nikola's mind was struggling to solve the mystery of her words, numbness slowly took over him. And there was once again silence and darkness…


	6. Chapter 6

**I know I said this was going to be the last chapter. Guess what? It's not! Certain ideas kept invading my mind and I couldn't ignore them so there will be one more chapter besides this one. I hope I'll get it done soon. I'm surprised I was able to finish even this one because in the last three days I've been too busy freaking out over the Sanctuary Season 3 Trailer and I wasn't even able to think anymore! NIKOLA IS EVERYWHERE IN THAT TRAILER!**

***calms down* I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too . Reviewing would be great to let me know your thoughts about the story :)**

**thanks Keaira once again for being my Beta :)**

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The very first thing he felt was the scent. A scent that made his dry throat burn. Then the thirst took over him. A huge blood thirst that made his survival instincts awake. He needed to feed.

Opening his eyes, he saw a woman working at the table across the room. In a moment he realized she was the source of the scent. He got up from the bed – what was he doing over there? – and in a second he closed the distance between him and the woman. The urge to feed that had taken over his mind made him raise his hand ready to attack her when she suddenly turned to face him.

"Nikola?"

_Nikola__, _yes that was his name! Nikola Tesla. Before having time to settle his thoughts, a frozen shiver went down his bones. He clenched his teeth and reached with his hand to the woman's neck.

"Nikola, what are you doing?" She asked in a terrified voice. "It's me, Helen!"

_Helen_? Slowly, the blurry images inside his head became clearer and clearer. He could recognize her face, her voice. The memories stirred within, memories with her. They became stronger, stronger than his need to feed. What was he just about to do?

"Helen?" He asked as if he had just woken up from a nightmare. "What happened?"

Then a weakness took over his body and before noticing the tranquilizer in his arm he fell on the floor lost once again in confusion.

...

An insupportable heat made his body shiver. Then he felt something cool on his forehead. He opened his eyes and saw Helen holding a cold compress on his soaking wet forehead. She flinched when she met his gaze.

"Helen…" A voice called her name.

"I'm here Nikola." She replied with a smile at the corner of her mouth looking Nikola straight in the eyes.

Then he realized that voice that called Helen was actually his. He couldn't recognize his own voice anymore. What had happened to him? He raised his hands. His black nails were looking threatening than ever on his hands. What had he turned into?

"_A monster."_ His mind replied.

In a moment he remembered everything. The Five, the syringe, the pain, the numbness, the thirst, the attack. He had been one step from attacking Helen! Nikola would never forgive himself for letting his impulses to take over him, for putting Helen's life in danger, for trying to kill the one he loved more than anything in the world. He remembered the love.

"Helen, tie me up." He said in a pleading voice.

"What are you talking about Nikola?" She asked.

"I don't want to try to hurt you again. Please." He replied with a sincere voice.

"But I trust you Nikola!" Helen said and took his hand in hers.

"I don't." He replied and released his hand from hers. "I haven't won the fight yet."

The blood thirst was still there threatening to reach the surface. He had only a few moments of lucidity left before the beast would be back. And this time he had to fight it.

"Please, Helen!" He asked her one more time.

She listened to him and tied up his hands and legs. By the moment she was done, Nikola had already become unconscious.

For three days and three nights Nikola fought his inner demon. He felt an excruciating pain in his entire body as he was focusing his self control to fight the irrational impulses from his brain. It would have been so much easier for him to give in. But the thought of Helen gave him all the strength he needed. He could not allow himself to become a monster. One day, that monster could hurt Helen and he knew he'd never be able to live with the guilt. So he fought and after three endless days he could feel his victory was close.

...

Nikola hadn't had the courage to open his eyes. He stood there in the dark focusing his hearing on every sound. There was a beat. And shortly after there was another one. He soon realized those were his heartbeats. Another set of heartbeats let him know someone else was in the room.

"_Helen_." He thought with a wistful smile at the corner of his mouth.

Steps on the hallway. Somebody entered the room.

"Helen, we have to go! Mr. Lestrade is waiting for us. We promised him we'll go to the theatre together, remember?"

"_Druitt_."

"I am sorry John. Mr. Lestrade will have to excuse me but I'm not going anywhere. I have to take care of Nikola." Helen replied in a natural tone.

"Helen, you've been staying near this… monster for three days now and nothing!" Druitt said with a trace of disgust in his voice.

"Don't you talk like that about Nikola!" Helen suddenly replied. "If you want to go to the theatre go, but I'm not coming. I'm taking care of a friend John, not a monster!"

"Very well then." He said after a short pause. "Meet you at dinner."

And he walked out of the room.

Nikola had been able to hear how Druitt's heartbeats accelerated after Helen refused him. He heard him breathing with anger and struggling to withhold that anger.

When he was certain Druitt wouldn't come back, Nikola opened his eyes. He looked at his hands. The long black nails were still there but he wasn't terrified anymore. Focusing his strength he watched as the nails backed down until his hand was back to normal.

"Nikola!" A surprised voice exclaimed.

He turned his head and saw Helen. The joy in her eyes made words unnecessary.

"I suppose you don't have any… blood around here, have you?" Nikola said with a big grin on his face.

She laughed.

"I mean it. I'm starving." Nikola completed.

"I might have something for you." She said and handed him a glass of wine.

"Wine?" He asked raising an eyebrow. "I'm not sure that's what I'm supposed to _drink_."

She smiled to him and then started to explain,

"While you were unconscious I've done some tests on your blood and discovered your serotonin levels were really high. That could affect your brain response to certain stimuli as hunger, thirst and the need to sleep. Wine has this unusual effect to keep your serotonin levels low when it comes in contact with your blood. It also acts like an appetite suppressant so your blood thirst should slowly decrease."

Nikola looked surprised at her for a moment. She really was brilliant.

"But, how did you know about wine?" He asked.

"Oh, when I realized you turned into a vampire, or at least half-vampire, I looked through my father's researches about Sanguine Vampiris and found out that the vampires who were great leaders were rarely seen eating or drinking. But they all drank wine. So I thought there should be a connection and apparently, I was right. I am sorry to say it but you will have to follow a wine diet, at least until I'm able to synthesize a proper medication, if you don't want to… drink human blood." She finished her last sentence in a low voice, lowering her gaze.

A shiver went down to Nikola's spine as he heard Helen's words. The memory of that uncontrollable blood lust, the memory of him attacking her sent thousands of spikes into his heart.

"I won't feed on humans Helen." He said, also lowering his gaze.

"Promise me." She said taking his hands into hers.

"I promise." He replied feeling his heart almost breaking his chest.

What Nikola didn't know was how close of breaking that promise he would be in just a couple of weeks…


	7. Chapter 7

**Yes, it's finally done! *phew* I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I'm not sure how much you'll love this final chapter but I got to the conclusion that was the only way things could have ended. Thanks for your patience and for reading and reviewing my story. Your comments mean a great deal to me. Now that it's over I should get a life haha.**

**Many thanks to Keaira again for being my beta.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Helen had requested the meeting. They were all waiting for her and Druitt to appear. It had been three weeks since they got injected with the Source Blood and they had all managed to keep their powers under control. Nigel was on the couch having fun by making different parts of his body disappear. Watson was reading a Physics book. Apparently, after his mind reached new heights, he stopped being concerned anymore about controlling the information he learned so he was eagerly trying to expand his knowledge.

Nikola was standing on a chair watching them and wondering what Helen had to tell them. The memory of his blood lust was still vivid in his mind but thanks to the ingenious Helen Magnus and her new Medication, he was now doing excellent at controlling his vampire transformation. Because he scarcely felt the need to sleep, he was spending all his nights practicing, discovering new sides of his powers but also studying about Sanguine Vampiris to find out what he was. He had become fascinated by the greatness and power of the "ancient ones".

Suddenly Druitt showed up with Helen in the middle of the room. That was John's power – teleportation. Gracious as always, she greeted the men without letting go John's hand.

Again, Nikola was bothered by the gesture. But this time he knew what caused that. He couldn't admit it but he knew all too well _he was jealous_.

There was happiness in Helen's eyes while Druitt had that look as if he was admiring his trophy again.

"My friends!" Helen started. "You must be wondering why I asked for this meeting."

There was no doubt, when she talked everyone's attention was caught by her words.

"I have some wonderful news I want to share with you." She said and rolled her eyes through the room.

"Me and John got engaged last night!"

The others started applauding and congratulating them. Nikola was frozen in his chair. He felt like somebody just burned a hole in his chest and ripped his heart. He tried to take a deep breath but he ended up suffocating. A deep pain took over him, a pain he was familiar with. It was the same kind of pain he experienced after he had lost his brother. This time it was Helen the one he was loosing. Their voices became just a long incomprehensible background sound for his thoughts.

He raised his gaze just to meet Druitt's mischievous grin enjoying his _victory_. Anger started to darken his thoughts. And then he felt that blood lust again. Just a quick attack and Druitt will never know what hit him. But she would know…

"_She chose him_!" A voice screamed in his head.

The voice was right. She chose him. How could she? Wasn't she able to tell what kind of man Druitt was? Nikola decided to end this once and for all. He felt his inner demon quickly growing inside of him but this time he made no effort to resist. His eyes blackened. Every muscle in his body was waiting for his mind to command the attack.

A hand gently touched his shoulder.

"Nikola?" Her voice suddenly brought him to reality.

He raised his gaze to meet her deep blue eyes filled with concern.

"Nikola, are you alright?" She asked in a whisper.

His anger backed down for a couple of moments. How could she have such an effect on him?

With a grimace on his face Nikola answered,

"I'm not feeling very good. I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me."

He rose from the chair and turned to face her.

"Congratulations on your engagement." He said struggling to control the tone of his voice while he placed a soft kiss on her hand.

Before walking out the door Druitt suddenly materialized in front of him.

"Won't you congratulate me too?" He asked in a sarcastic tone.

So close… All he had to do is raise his hand and in a fraction of second his long nails would rip him apart. He turned to take one more look at Helen hoping to gain a little more self control. He then turned to Druitt and grabbed his arm.

"If I hear you don't treat Helen right, you'd better watch your back Johnny boy!"

Then he left leaving Druitt all astounded by his actions.

Nikola was surprised as well. He could not recognize this new side of him. But he didn't have too much time to settle his thoughts. The anger and the blood lust were back stronger than ever. With his heart broken to pieces he went rambling through the city. The storm had started but he didn't care. Big cold raindrops were hitting violently the ground. His clothes were soaking wet but he could not feel them anymore. All he could think about was that Helen had chosen Druitt.

"_Of course she had_!" A voice replied in his mind. "_Have you ever tried to let her know what you feel about her_?"

He hadn't. And now he was paying for his mistake. In a low whisper he cursed the day when he'd first seen her. Why did Helen Magnus have to enter his life?

"_The scent_…"

A young girl was walking in front of him. In just a moment his eyes blackened, his nails grew and he clenched his vampire teeth with excitement.

But then the memory of a promise made not very long ago invaded his mind.

"_Promise me_." Helen's voice had pleaded him.

Why should he care now? He knew the answer all too well. _He loved her_. And as much as he wanted to hate her, as much as he wanted to forget her, his heart just wouldn't let him. The thought of her was the pain and at the same time the cure for his scattered mind.

So he struggled to gain control over his actions once again. Even though his instincts told him he needed to feed, Nikola refused to allow his inner demon overcome him again.

He understood then he would spend the rest of his life loving Helen from a distance even though his entire being would end up suffering. Even if he would have to deny the very nature of what he had become. There was no going back.

But he would never allow himself to be so vulnerable in the future. He would wear his mask of selfishness and arrogance, indifference and recklessness to shield his true feelings. He would bury himself in work and study and he would not allow his mind to wonder about her. However he would never give up hope. The hope that perhaps, one day, Helen would be able to see beyond his mask and understand…

* * *

**~Fin~**


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